A wedding saying..........

Something old, something new, something borrow...

Article by: Udo Vieth

Something borrowed, something blue is probably what popped into your head as you read the above.

This is how our minds work!

We store complete pictures or phrases in our memory. Calling up one part thereof, brings the whole item into our consciousness.

Discover how this impacts on our relationships and can lead to a breakthrough technique for achieving relationship happiness.

Let me explain:

First you need to understand that you are who you are and do what you do  because of the pictures in the front of your mind right now. Remember, we all do the best we know how at any point in time. That knowing, is created directly from the most dominant picture in your mind at that moment.

Let me give you an example.

When you and your partner met, there was that special feeling, maybe butterflies in your stomach, maybe a sense of security, maybe.. you know, whatever it was for you at the time, you equated that feeling with a picture of togetherness with your partner. Everytime you thought of your partner, those feelings came back and you felt good.

Progress 5 years down the road. You see a beer can standing next to the sofa, and a picture of a lazy smelling coachpotatoe flashes into your mind. This picture does not make you feel good!  Then the question "What happened to us" comes to mind.

Well what happened is that the original picture that made you feel good and hence act in a loving caring way, is buried under a pile of other pictures built up over time, until you got to the picture you now have, with its associated feeling

BUT...

The same story holds true for your partner. That original picture he had is also buried somewhere.The problem is that as we replace a great picture with a not so great picture, it changes our feelings about the situation. But more importantly it modifies our behaviour to the situation. So we do different things to what we did when we had the original picture in our mind.

We change!  Well at least our behaviour changes. So the behaviour of both parties adapt to newer and more current pictures.

We call that life.

Can you hold on to the original picture that made you feel good?
Well some partnerships seem to flourish and maintain that great intimacy. Is it because they are retaining that original picture?

I doubt it

Life happens to everyone. The secret of the long term happy relationship is that its' participants consciously choose how the next picture will look, and what feelings it will illicit. So they retain a sense of feeling good about each other and their actions reflect this. This becomes a continuous cycle, to maintain the relationship. It is a conscious decision. It is not difficult, merely conscious.

Once you are aware of your aims, it is much easier to move in the right direction by doing the right things, or sometimes merely avoiding the wrong actions. Taking responsibilty for your own actions is the first step. A whole new discussion on this will follow soon. But for now,..

Would you like that great feeling to remain in your relationships?

Well you can.

But you need to know how to achieve it, by using simple and effective tools, that are available to anyone determined to use them. There are lots of courses and workshops out there, and we will be reviewing some of the best techniques soon..

So keep tuned as they say.

About The Author

Who is Udo Vieth? He is fast becoming an expert on love, relationship, romance. Apart from being a qualified EFT and Biofeedback practitioner, he has been through the mill as far as relationships go. He is presently in a fulfiling relationship, but remembers the pitfalls all too well. He has set up a website: www.Toprelationships.com where information regarding all aspects of relationships, as well as some freebies are available.