This weeks content:
- Longterm relationship secrets Pt1- Are you still in love?
- Smile awhile
Longterm relationship secrets.
Are you still in love?
Remember that tingling feeling when you met, the total abandonment, total bliss.
The goose bumps, the sexual desire, the touching caressing and kissing. Do
you still have it, or is it just a memory?
Relationships go through stages. They all start off with a rose tinted outlook
and assumption of total everlasting romantic bliss. Then something
happens - the shine seems to have gone. Yet this is completely normal.
It's not your fault, blame your brain.
Did you know that there are scientifically observed brain function changes
relating to the stages of a love relationship or marriage. And they differ
between men and women! If couples do not accept and learn to adapt to
the changing stages of a relationship, a breakup can occur, and is
sometimes even predictable.
Women and men are different.
OK we know that, but their brains are also
wired differently. They respond differently to the same stimuli. At some
deeper level, they are designed to differ.
This often causes conflict, misunderstanding and stress. Accepting this fact,
takes you along way toward working with nature on this one, rather than
against it. This can be the key to making love last a lifetime.
Lets start by looking at the stages of a relationship, what they are, how they make you
feel and how you can get the best out of them.
1. The Romantic stage.
When two lovers meet, their whole beings seem to melt into each other.
They fall in love, reality gets cast aside, and their brains seem to
synchronize. They feel excited, buoyant and flushed, physically, emotionally
Their bodies actually release certain chemicals (like pheromones), which
stimulate their senses to bring them together, arouse them and cause a
very real tingling feeling, strengthening the union. The smell of each
other, looking into each others eyes, a glancing touch, all heighten this
euphoria. It is as if their minds want to melt into one and unite.
A bonding hormone, oxytocin appears in high levels, masking the
realization of any imperfections, and blocking our brains from
acknowledging these or any other irritating behavior in our partner. We go
through a time of "lovers bliss", possibly the greatest feeling on earth!
Unfortunately, the chemical and mental upswing stabilizes. The euphoria
gets replaced by common sense and the relationship now enters the next
After a certain time, ranging from a few months, to a year or so, our
hormones and brain chemistry adapt and change back to a more analytical
and thinking brain. The cerebral cortex takes over control of our thoughts
again and reality takes on a new look.
All of a sudden, that cute behavior in our partner is an irritating trait. The
lovable little mole is actually seen as a physical imperfection. A different
set of yardsticks is being used to evaluate the score of the partner.
Now we feel irritation, sometimes even anger, not just towards our partner,
but towards ourselves for being in the situation we are in. For not having
seen the "obvious", for allowing ourselves to be conned, even for cheating
Just like the euphoria of the falling in love stage was unrealistically high,
this feeling of resentment can reach unnaturally high levels. We start to question
everything we are doing, at every level, and in some cases drive ourselves
to misery. The blame is quite squarely placed on the relationship. We are angry, we got
Well we might have been, but we are the ones that did most of the
misleading, either ourselves, or our partner. We are having second
thoughts, we feel trapped. We have stopped communicating on that deeper
level, sharing the very thoughts and feelings that made this relationship
special in the beginning.
We believe that our partner has changed. They are not who we committed
to, they are different. Yes, they are, but so are you. By now, life has also got in the way,
with children, career, stress, finances, all playing their part.
The bottom line is, you are miserable and don't really know what to do.
After a while, you know something must give, so you try something.
Assuming that you are still totally committed to your relationship, we now
enter the next stage: The fight for supremacy..........(next issue)
Keep on loving Udo
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Joke of the week:
Bad Pun Jokes:
Question: How Do You Catch a Bear?
Solution: First you dig a hole and fill it up with ashes. Then you take some peas and and put it around the hole and when the bear comes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
Man: "What do I have to give you for one little kiss?"
Get more jokes HERE!