So, everyone is making love more often than you?
I was talking to a friend the other day, who complained to me about his love life. He had been in this relationship 6 months now, and he was worried.
“We are down to having sex only once a night, nowadays” he quipped. “When we met, we made love 3, sometimes 4 times a day, what’s wrong with us?”
I hung my head in shame and slung away quietly, feeling totally inadequate. I thought my 1 to2 times a week was OK and ” normal”. I had never worried much about it, as it seemed about right for me. Obviously I was way under performing. I was a sexual retard! Ouch.
Now I was really down.
So everyone else is doing it at least 5 to 7 times a week, and still feeling bad about it. Where did this leave me? I somehow, just didn’t have the energy, or for that matter the desire for that much sex. Was I abnormal? Was there something seriously wrong with me?
It was then that I remembered a story that cheered me up little.
At a sex therapy seminar, the speaker asked the audience how often they made love.
Firstly, how many of you have sex once a day? About 10% put up their hand.
how many once a week? Now about 65% put up their hand.
a month? About 24% held up their hand.
he asked, how many once a year? One guy at the back of the room, jumped up and down, shouting “Me,me, me”
The speaker was puzzled, “If you only have sex once a year, why are you so happy?”
He replied “Tonight’s the night, tonight’s the night”
OK so it’s all about what makes you happy.
As you settle into a relationship, you will hopefully also settle into a pattern of sexual frequency, one that is comfortable and sufficient for you and your partner.
Whether this is 5 times a day or once a year, is actually totally up to you. You need to be happy and content as a couple.
The only time sexual frequency actually becomes a problem is when one partner is totally unsatisfied, or physical intimacy has stopped altogether.
In this case, you need to address the issue.
There can be a million causes for this, ranging from physical problems, to work stress, to children etc… Should you be in this situation, please seek help.
Nowadays, there a very good sex therapists available, able to help bring your sex life back on track, smoothly and without any embarrassment.
So remember, if you are happy, it’s right.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, they may have different agenda’s, needs and requirements. This is not a competition- it never was. The only winners are the satisfied couple.
A wise person once said the following:
From the time you start having a sexual relationship with a long term partner, put 1 marble into a jar for every time you have sex for a period of one year.
At the end of that year, take one marble from the jar every time you have sex.
You will probably never empty the jar.
I never bought enough marbles to try it, but thinking about it, it could very well be true.
All this means is that the start of a relationship is based a lot more on physical attraction as the major binding force. Later on, all the other aspects of the relationship take on a bigger and bigger role, and evolve into a more meaningful union. eventually there is a lot more than physical attraction binding you.
Lastly, don’t believe all the stuff you see on TV, in soap operas, or take the guys bragging at the club seriously. If they were happy, they wouldn’t have to brag. They are merely trying to get the attention a fulfilling relationship would not require them to seek.
So, remember to keep on loving
A recent survey
” more affection,
from their partners.
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and spice up your love life!
Joke of the week:
A man dies and goes to Heaven.
He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.
“Sure,” GOD says, “Go right ahead”.
“OK,” the man says. “Why did you make women so pretty?”
GOD says, “So you would like them.”
“OK,” the guy says. “But how come you made them so beautiful?”
“So you would LOVE them”, GOD replies.
The man ponders a moment and then asks, “But why did you make them such airheads?”
GOD says, “So they would love you!”